Throw the Wildest Milkshake Keg Party Today in Two Point Campus

Ain’t no party like a Two Point Campus party, at least if you’re into milkshakes and DJs named after puns. Two Point Campus is out now for Xbox Series X|S, Xbox One, and with Xbox Game Pass and PC Game Pass, bringing the party straight to your screen with a bevy of new clubs, activities, and bands for your college students to rock out to. Trust us, it’s totally for the greater good of their education. Totally.

Every party needs a venue, and that’s where the student union (that’s British for “lounge”) comes in. Prop up your four walls, plop down a milkshake bar staffed by one of your university’s assistants, and maybe toss in a disco dance floor, and you’ve got yourself a party headquarters. Players can then schedule a ton of different events to help keep their students happy and entertained. Remember, it’s harder for your students to hit the books if they’re constantly bummed out. Happiness is one of several factors you’ll have to keep track of to ensure your students succeed.

Chief among these awesome offerings, gigs offer the hottest bands in Two Point County the chance to play for your prestigious institution.

The Ripped Chords

You may know Ripped Chords from Campus Radio or the credits of that one film you liked. This three-piece may not draw the biggest crowds, but they’re beloved by a silent minority, listening in their bedrooms, their basements and quiet parkland areas.

Alchemical Friendship

The story goes that the two friends met in potions class at Spiffinmoore Academy, where an unusually strong batch of skyweeds caused the pair’s jingle potion to leave them both with permanent, irreversible musical talent.

Boogie Knights

The Two Point Squabbler described the Boogie Knights as “the funkiest knights that Two Point County has ever seen”, and while that’s wildly speculative and totally unprovable, it’s also hard to argue with.

Are parties a little much for you? Maybe you prefer to take things slower. Hopefully not too slow, because the Speedwalking Club is looking for fresh recruits. Clubs are yet another way for students to stave off the doldrums while doing something productive.

In the Speedwalking Club, students are challenged to get their steps in and kick up a little dust in their wake. Decorate campus with speed walking signs and giant mouse wheels and your students’ healthiness will increase along with their overall movement speed. Now there’s no excuse to be late to lecture.

On the polar-opposite side of the spectrum, the Power-Napping Club is for those who love their Z’s. Practice your sleep-talking next to Sleepy Sheep stands or giant moon statues surrounded by pillows. Who approved this?

Finally, you’ve got the Gardening Club. Take off those shoes and pick up a watering can, it’s time to escape the strain of everyday life. Whether it’s all day in the library or that suffocating, synthetic jumper, some students just want more nature. Feel the earth beneath your feet, the sun on your face and the wind… wherever it is you feel that.

No matter what kind of student you are, rest assured that Two Point Campus is there to take your tuition fee. Welcome to the first day of class.

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